I’m obviously idea-starved if I’m writing about this nonsense, but sometimes things happen that are so bizarre and such had-scratchers that you have to find some sort of outlet for them.
Yesterday, I received an odd Facebook friend request (odd because it was sent by a guy simply named Laurence, no surname, not even an initial). I assumed it was a bot, so I denied it. A few hours later, I received a second request, same guy. I figured it was probably a real person, so I accepted. I thought I’d send a playful DM just to see what’s what. At 4:45 AM, I sent the following:
“Two friend requests? Might I inquire why such persistence? And why no surname?”
My message was read at around 7:30 AM, but I received no response. Earlier this afternoon, I decided to have a look at the guy’s profile. According to the information listed, he works at VICE, Literary Orphans East, and Wind Nut Butters, and lives in Tecumseh, Missouri. While perusing his wall, I happened to glance up and noticed the “Add Friend” icon.
Wait, what? I thought he’d already...ohh...
For those of you who haven’t pieced it together, this Laurence character removed me from his list shortly after reading my DM. Repeat: the guy who sent me two friend request removed me from his list.
By this point, I’m scratching my scalp so hard, there’s blood beneath my fingernails. At 6:14 PM, I sent another message simply stating:
I figured that’s that. Just another one of those strange, unexplained episodes life’s full of. So, I went on with my day. Made a coffee. Figured I’d get back to work on my current novel. The Muse seemed to be taking a spa day, as I was feeling less than inspired. Grinding my teeth as I struggled to tweak a paragraph I wasn’t happy with, I happened to glance at my taskbar. Noticed I had a Facebook message. Desperate to free myself from the evil paragraph, I decide to investigate. Lo and behold, I had a response from Laurence. At 6:39 PM, he sent the following:
“Probably an accident, paranoid guy. Ha.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, or if I’d bother responding. It only took a moment to realize, however, that I couldn’t respond even if I wanted to. Laurence—the guy who sent me two friend requests, read my initial DM without responding, then removed me from his list—blocked me. Just in case you didn’t catch that, he blocked me. As though I were some sort of nuisance. Um...
What do I have to say in conclusion? What is the moral of this story? What have I learned from this experience? On that I’ll have to get back to you just as soon as I shampoo the blood out of my hair.