Probably should've made the following disclaimer before beginning this obnoxious little series, but most of my annoyances/pet peeves revolve around poor grammar, words used incorrectly, and the butchering of common phrases. I’m not an elitist, but I am a writer with huge res[ect for the written word, so these things bother me tremendously. Side note: this applies only to those who claim English as their first language.
I've gritted my teeth and fought the urge to jam knitting needles in my ears for three and a half decades. The insanity must come to an end, people. I've literally heard a nameless individual, whose I.Q. is more than likely a single digit, use the phrase "two pies in the pot" instead of "two peas in a pod." I wish I were kidding. While describing the amount of duties he'd taken on, a former co-worker explained that he'd spent the day "running around like a chicken cut my head off." Seriously. It's amazing I've gone this long without stomach full of bleeding ulcers.
One of my biggest pet peeves—and I'm sure everyone reading this now is guilty of it, as it's so ridiculously common that it scares me—is the misuse of the phrase "I couldn't care less." For some reason, millions of people seem to believe it's "I could care less." This phenomenon I'll never understand. All I can do is implore you not to say it.
And don't get me started on those who say "on accident" instead of "by accident..." I’ll burs a fucking blood vessel.