Monday, September 19, 2016

When a Stranger Calls

I get annoying phone calls essentially every day. Telemarketers, pre-recorded scams, people who don’t speak English, random idiots... Today was a particularly active day, as I received somewhere around ten calls before 2:00 PM. Must be Mercury Retrograde.

A few minutes ago, I received a call while distracted by something else. It was a number I didn’t recognize, so I just left it. Moments later, I noticed I have a voicemail—a very long voicemail containing nothing but dead air. Annoyed, I decide to call back.

After a few rings, the call connects. There’s a lot of rustling, like the receiver is being dragged across a soft surface, or the other party literally didn’t know how a phone works. When I finally hear a voice, it belongs to a woman who sounds like she knows not who she is, where she is, or what’s happening. The following is our exact conversation:

ME: (annoyed by rustling) DO YOU KNOW HOW TO TALK?
WOMAN: (after brief silence) Y-yeah.
ME: Then why did you just leave me a blank voicemail?
WOMAN: Huh?
ME: WHY DID YOU JUST LEAVE ME A BLANK VOICEMAIL?
WOMAN: Who...who is this?
ME: You should know, you just called me.
WOMAN: (long pause) Wr...wrong number.
ME: WELL, THAT’S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY. (click)

True story.

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